I want to dedicate this post to my BestFriend (no spaces) of ten years and many more to come, Gayle (you can read her blog
here). She's recently been diagnosed with cancer, and although she only has about five months of chemotherapy to do, it's still a big deal. All the treatments/medication have been taking its toll on her body, but you know what? She remains strong, positive, looking forward to the future, not dwelling on her condition. And I know she reads this, hehe :)
So, Gayle, I know that I unfortunately have not been able to make it to a treatment yet. That's due to business with work and whatnot, but it's no excuse! It's been hard for me to comprehend the fact that you have cancer, that of which I can do nothing to control, to help; and if I had any say in the matter, I would take it all away. I'll be here with you until the end, and you will overcome. I'm so sorry and I don't want you to think even for a second that I'm not there for you, because I would be in a heartbeat. I love you.
Not everyone believes in the same thing. But everyone has to believe in something. Some higher power, some reason for us being here. Some sort of validation that provides some sort of answer, as satisfactory as it may be, for why things happen the way they do. My answer, my reason for living, my validation is my God. My God hears my prayers; He may not always answer them the way I want them to, but He sees the bigger picture that I can't, and therefore lets things happen accordingly. I may get a "no" to something I ask for, but eventually that "no" turns into more than I could ever ask for. I recently reconnected with a friend who's been doubting his faith lately, and I can't get one of the questions out of my head: "Why does God give some people more struggles than others?" That caught me off-guard for a second. And you know what, it's not necessarily that God decides to be like, "Hmm...this person should have x amount more of issues than this person because..." No. It's not like that. Problems are not a lottery. This is not raffle time. This is earth, not heaven. Heaven is perfect, earth will never be. Heaven will give us everything, earth will always lack something. We are not in God's world yet! We are going to have hard times...this is inevitable. If we never had any, we would never grow in strength or character, we'd never appreciate the good times, we would never realize how much we need to depend more on God and less on ourselves. Every single person is different. We have different mindsets, different backgrounds, different histories, different experiences, different EVERYTHING. If God gave every one of us the exact same struggle, everything would be thrown off balance. He gives us trials according to how much we can handle, and nothing more.
So I have a bad day...and my first thought is, "oh, crap." But you know what? It means God cares enough to risk us turning away from Him during hard times if it means bringing us closer than ever to Him, if it means making us better people. It means that since God will never give us anything we can't handle, that we are going to get through this just fine.
So, Gayle...I know that everything you're going through, the pain, the sickness, the hair loss...you will get through this. God hasn't for a second turned his back on you. He's carrying you through this because He knows you're stronger than this. It might not seem like it now...but it's true. And I will always be here.
So...I leave you with a song by Casting Crowns, it's one of my favorites...
Praise You in This Storm
I was sure by now,God, You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
